Talking from past, most terrible experience, I would like to try and help anyone, boy or girl, going through a bad break up.
The two break ups I have ever had have been horrendous, to the point of depression. They made me terrified of getting into another relationship which is pretty scary.
This is the advice I would given my 'past self' from my experiences.
1. In the first initial stage, have your daily moments of tears, listening to sad songs and feeling sorry for yourself. Allow only 30 minutes a day for this, then pick yourself up, and concentrate on something else like a film/school work etc.
2. Find good break up songs to dwell on and sing til your hearts content. (The Script/Taylor Swift is good for relate able lyrics and of course Adele) They strangely bring you comfort knowing someone out there is feeling or has felt the same.
3. Go out and get some exercise!! Go for a run, join the gym or even walk your dogs! Exercise makes you feel good and releases endorphins and it helps you get back into shape looking your best to show off to your ex what they are missing!
4. Get your hair done! Even if your happy with your hair, have it trimmed, highlighted, cut etc! It makes you feel like you've had a brand new fresh start and you can take on anything! It feels you with confidence!
5. Dedicate a few nights a week to 'pamper nights'. Have a bubble bath, stick a film on, do your tan, paint your nails! It takes your mind off everything and concentrates it YOU! You also feel fab about yourself after!
6. Delete your social media apps. Or if you cant live without them, delete THEM! It wont do you ANY good constantly having their - no doubt happy - posts constantly being streamed into your timeline. Its unhealthy and the first step to being in control is to delete them! Be strong and just do it!
7. If its the type of break up I had.. where you have broken up but your still texting and begging for them back etc.. DONT. Do NOT reply. They want the best of both worlds, they want you to beg and flatter them and love the attention they have off you because they are nasty people but they dont actually want you. They want the single life with you to fall back on!! DONT REPLY.
You are in control and that will drive them CRAZY. It will also toughen you up.
8. Talk to friends/family. You wont actually notice but your friends will know exactly whats going on even if you dont tell them. I have had countless teary dinners out with my girls when they have told me they are worried and talk about it between themselves. This made me realise how much they actually care.
9. Start something new, perhaps a blog or a diary to be able to get your thoughts down and youll see how much you improve when you look back on pages from weeks in the past.
10. Do not feel like theres no place for you without this person. After they treat you so bad etc who would want to be with them anyway?! You certainly dont.
You deserve someone much nicer and appreciates every part of you. I know this is easier to say than do but I have been there.
11. Do not feel like your alone. I bet most people have had at least one bad break up in their life. Just think - this may be your first and last!!
If you ever need to talk to someone to lift your thoughts off your chest I am here :) I am only a email/tweet (@Sophiealizaa) away!!
xx
